Choices

Everyone knows what a difficult choice is. It is a choice which you don’t want to see; a choice you think you can’t handle; a choice you don’t want to make.
If you finally take a deep breath and a step forward, you might find yourself in different situations:

– relief;

– regret;

– being unsure;

– trying to persuade yourself you took the right path on the crossroads you just left.

But no matter how you feel, making this choice changes you. Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing? For you to decide. Are you ready to choose?

The Fire that Forges

Is there the exact moment when you fall in love? Is it a smile? Is it a smell? Is it a word said? For my Mom is was the moment she realized she is a Mom to me. That the first thing I do when I wake up, I call her; that when I am scared I need her; that when I am in pain I ran to her. She saw that she was the center of my tiny universe and, being a responsibility freak, she just couldn’t let me down and let herself fill with this overwhelming unconditional love a mother have for her child.
She says she had dogs and cats before and she loved them dearly, but those fires we went through together forged something new from us, something unique. She calls me her son openly and even my grandparents still wince at it. Being her son at day, I am the guardian of her dreams at night. We are inseparable except for one thing: money. Still don’t understand why Mom can’t stay with me or take me with her to her office every day? Is money the most powerful thing in the world?

Confusion

Have you ever been so confused in your life, that you did not know what you feel? You are close to someone and yet far, you look at each other and hit, instead of kissing, because you are afraid to admit what is going on; you look at her and have no idea why this creature is so important to you, but you feel it in your guts, and ready to forgive all those bites, sudden jumps and hogging all the attention some times. I still won’t let her steal my treats or deprive me of my naps, but I like when she misses me, you know. Whenever I leave home, even for 5 mins, I come back to a yelling little monster who starts purring to Mom and jumping at me simultaneously. She can’t be alone at all. You know what warms my heart most of all, she is purring to Mom, but she switches to me instantly and chooses to go play with me, not stay and have some girl time with Mom.

I never could imagine I’d love someone except for Mom. But now, I’m afraid, I do. Having Kleo back with us made me realize how much I love this little ball of fur with a fire under her tail. Mom thinks Pixie chose her over Kleo and started following her around when she was not even a months old yet, but we all know who she chose to be with, right?

Still, I am confused about it, can’t grasp the moment when I turned from hating all the other cats to loving one.

Life is a pretzel

My life has been crooked from the start.

Born in the country of the red dust and absent pets, where cats’ and dogs’ best option is to be allowed to live near the house and be fed with what’s left after people. Abandoned by my cat-mother the day I was born, found by this crazy person I call Mom. Traveled in circles between Siem Reap, Phnom Penh and Pattaya. Got sick, fell down, got bitten and got sick sick sick again. Traveled across the world, teaching Mom not to be afraid of flying. Conquered the snows of Siberia and earned IG friends from all around the world with my fiery nature.

My life looks more like a pretzel, than a line from A to B to C.
Mom says she wants to straighten our life. But what does it mean? To know what awaits you tomorrow? To have everything planned? To have no reason to be afraid of a new month coming? Or to wake up with a smile on your face?
Well, Pixie and I are in charge of her smiles, so she always has plenty in stock. What else could she want? You don’t think she meant me to straighten my tail, do you?

That reminds me of a song Pixie and I created some time ago.

Ros:

My tail’s not bushy,

My tail’s not long

My tail’s not what you want to hold on!

 

My tail is crooked

A-aha

My tail is crooked

A-aha,

My tail is crooked!

 

Pixie:

My tail my tail my tail my tail.

My tail my tail my tail my tail.

 

Ros:

My tail is my feature,

My tail is my pride,

Touch my tail and I’ll beat ya, it’s only for my bride.

 

My tail is crooked

A-aha

My tail is crooked

A-aha,

My tail is crooked!

 

Pixie:

My tail my tail my tail my tail.

My tail my tail my tail my tail.

Paws against terror

If you’re scared and you know it, clap your hands.
If you’re scared and you know it, but don’t really want to show it… if you’re scared and you know it, clap your hands…
Is it a funny song or not? Mom said she saw a lot scared gloomy people in the underground today. Everyone has his own mechanism to hide his/her vulnerability. Mom is smiling. To almost everything…she embraced a complicated smiling system Thai people use not to disclose their feelings. They have 13 types of smiles. It seems that Mom has even more sometimes. I wish she had only one – the happy smile.
We are far from St. Petersburg and Moscow, but we live in the third populated city in Russia and many things are getting scary here lately as in any other big city in the world. Like taking an underground, going out during important holidays, being in a crowd or taking a plane.
It is normally scary for introverted people as well as cats, I believe, but every year it becomes more and more dangerous due to acts of terror. Terrible, pointless, inhumane. I know, I am just a catman, but maybe my human friends could explain why someone would blow up innocent people, crush a plane into a building or start a war? I am not able to grasp the idea. Maybe those people know another God, who is NOT Love? In my world the answer to everything is Love or at least 42…but not this.
I’ve noticed that I am using word “inhumane” to describe actions of humans more and more often. Humans, please, be humans! It is more difficult than being robots or animals, but it worth it, believe one tiny wolverine cub who made a great effort to become a true catman.
My paws are against terror! Join me, my furriends! Raise your paws too!
#pawsagainstterror #pawsforpeace

Bathroom patrol

 

Do you all love your bathrooms as we love ours? Something is special about that place, right? I guess it’s the running water. The beauty of sparkling drops fascinated me when I was little. I would sit and watch them running down the walls after Mom took a shower. I have been spending at least one third of the day in the four walls of out bathroom imagining it is a whole kingdom and it’s mine! Pixie is fascinated with water too. She drinks from a tap, she catches water drops with her face and paws, and she lays in the bathtub while Mom washing her face or getting ready for work. But most of all she likes to sit on the side of a bathtub and catch Mom’s feet through the bath foam while Mom is taking a bath. It’s all about the bath here! Is it the same at your place?

Inner silence.

How often do you speak with your inner voice? Once in a while? Every day? All the time? Mine just won’t shut up! There is no privacy in my head. It asks me cunning questions, it shows me what I don’t want to see about myself, it soothes me when I upset or makes me even more upset, and it laughs like a crazy evil professor trying to enslave the world. You would say it is just mine subconscious so I am simply talking to myself. Well, one might agree, but if you try and peep inside my head, you would never again ponder over the question if subconscious is a part of one self: it isn’t, I promise.

I was very irritated with my inner voice lately. It was annoying more than usual, so a couple of days ago I wished it to go away for the 3588th time. I don’t know what was different that time, but the voice actually left me alone. No, ALONE. For the whole day there was not a though, not a word, not a move inside my head. It was scary and fascinating at the same time. I felt like I was outside, pushed out on to my skin: sounds were louder, colors brighter, people’s faces clearer. The world looked as if someone took a plastic from the monitor or photo shopped the picture.

My inner castle was gone, there were no inner space at all. What did you say? I am crazy? Totally, man, totally! Did you expect anything else from a baby dragon?

Thankfully, after sleeping off and watching funny series with Mom for the whole weekend, I am getting back to normal. Anything unusual in your life?

Let’s talk about love

Let’s talk about love, shall we? No, not that love that you are thinking about now, not romantic love or the way a son loves his mother, or even how a big brother loves his lil sis. No, no, no! I am talking about passion, about what drives you, what makes you jump out of the warm bed in the morning and dance through the day. You are getting the feeling, right? Are you nodding and having a smile on your face now? For Mom it is me (of course, have no doubts about that!), for Pixie…can you guess? Right! Me as well, with a little playing around and occasional purring like a broken purring machine.

For me it is exploring the world and birds! Or maybe birds even come first. I LOOOVE them, I swear. I sit still for them, I wag my tail for them, I sing for them! But they never answer to my feelings. They tease me and mock me, can you believe that? Who in his right mind is able to reject me? I reckon they are just stupid (not you Pico and Poco @jones_fids, not you!). Otherwise there is no reasonable exploration why they would not come and play with me as I ask them. I will be gentle, I promise! I like the process of hunting, I need the drive and the action. I won’t eat them, because I am a fan of healthy eating and I eat only high quality boiled chicken breast (cut before cooked!).

Twice I had a bird in my paws already and twice I let it go. Catch and release is a cool game when everyone stays safe, but Baby Dragon quenches his thirst of hunting.

Tell me what your passion is!?

Silver Mouse – the curse breaker.

 

I am not sure if I am bragging too early, but it seems like Pixie is a little fairy after all. Those who know me for a while, remember that I was not be touched by anyone. Last Summer I risked my life running away from Mom on the street when I thought it was not her who touched me. I ripped my harness off, tore Mom’s hands severely and ran home crossing two roads…
When someone would approach me with a kid, I would start shaking or roaring. If someone other than Mom would touch me, I could have hit with my paw or bite through the hand…
Now, having a stable life, Mom’s friend Kris living with us for almost a year now and Kleo with babies for over 4 months changed me, made me calmer and more confident. But having Pixie the Smiling kitten (Pixie Pie, Pixie the Sweet Paw, Pixie Crazy Pants, Pixie the Silver Mouse and so on and so forth) changed me so much Mom can barely recognize me.
I am old Mr. Grumpy, of course, and I am still a crazy Dragon baby, but I am much sweeter to Mom, my health is more stable and the most surprising thing is, I LOVE people now. Yes, yes, you heard me right. Every man/woman/kid I see outside of my apartment is my friend. I ran to a human to greet him and I smell him and bump him with my head and rub on his legs. Nothing will make me happier if a neighbor lets me in to his home to explore…Happy days like this I cherish. Last week Mom was shocked when a lady that came to see someone in our block lifted me up thinking I am running away from Mom and guess what I did? I purred to her!!! Well, to make a long story short, look at the pics. This is me being held by Mom’s friend Kris, who has been living with us for 8 months before I let her touch me for the first time.

Now she is even aloud to pet me and hold me from time to time. I sat on her lap recently so she could rub my face…Mom never thought it was possible. Now she is daring to dream that Pixie and I will become cuddle buddies one day!

Do you agree that Pixie has magic in her?

Doubts

How often are you filled with doubts? I am fighting them all the time, but they are still taking over. Yesterday Pixie decided to run up Mom’s back for no reason. Mom jumped up, yelling…she says she is in pain and asked me to explain to Pixie that she shouldn’t do it again. I watched her carefully, came closer and froze hesitantly. Then I reached Mom’s foot and bit her so she wouldn’t put her parental responsibility on me! I am a fun brother to Pixie and not her second parent!

Tonight I was in doubts again when Mom woke up at night and caressed me gently…I was considering going back too sleep, but then I bit and bunny hopped Mom’s hand and demanded her to take me out at 2 a.m. Yep! I felt like having a walk! Mom’s problems that she had to wake up at 6 and go to work… her first and most important job is to take care of me, right? But she didn’t go out. She tried to hide under the pillow from me…One and a half hour later I gave up and left her alone. But I had some fun in the process 😸😸😸 why being a cat if you don’t have a little fun every day?)