Inner silence.

How often do you speak with your inner voice? Once in a while? Every day? All the time? Mine just won’t shut up! There is no privacy in my head. It asks me cunning questions, it shows me what I don’t want to see about myself, it soothes me when I upset or makes me even more upset, and it laughs like a crazy evil professor trying to enslave the world. You would say it is just mine subconscious so I am simply talking to myself. Well, one might agree, but if you try and peep inside my head, you would never again ponder over the question if subconscious is a part of one self: it isn’t, I promise.

I was very irritated with my inner voice lately. It was annoying more than usual, so a couple of days ago I wished it to go away for the 3588th time. I don’t know what was different that time, but the voice actually left me alone. No, ALONE. For the whole day there was not a though, not a word, not a move inside my head. It was scary and fascinating at the same time. I felt like I was outside, pushed out on to my skin: sounds were louder, colors brighter, people’s faces clearer. The world looked as if someone took a plastic from the monitor or photo shopped the picture.

My inner castle was gone, there were no inner space at all. What did you say? I am crazy? Totally, man, totally! Did you expect anything else from a baby dragon?

Thankfully, after sleeping off and watching funny series with Mom for the whole weekend, I am getting back to normal. Anything unusual in your life?

Silver Mouse – the curse breaker.


I am not sure if I am bragging too early, but it seems like Pixie is a little fairy after all. Those who know me for a while, remember that I was not be touched by anyone. Last Summer I risked my life running away from Mom on the street when I thought it was not her who touched me. I ripped my harness off, tore Mom’s hands severely and ran home crossing two roads…
When someone would approach me with a kid, I would start shaking or roaring. If someone other than Mom would touch me, I could have hit with my paw or bite through the hand…
Now, having a stable life, Mom’s friend Kris living with us for almost a year now and Kleo with babies for over 4 months changed me, made me calmer and more confident. But having Pixie the Smiling kitten (Pixie Pie, Pixie the Sweet Paw, Pixie Crazy Pants, Pixie the Silver Mouse and so on and so forth) changed me so much Mom can barely recognize me.
I am old Mr. Grumpy, of course, and I am still a crazy Dragon baby, but I am much sweeter to Mom, my health is more stable and the most surprising thing is, I LOVE people now. Yes, yes, you heard me right. Every man/woman/kid I see outside of my apartment is my friend. I ran to a human to greet him and I smell him and bump him with my head and rub on his legs. Nothing will make me happier if a neighbor lets me in to his home to explore…Happy days like this I cherish. Last week Mom was shocked when a lady that came to see someone in our block lifted me up thinking I am running away from Mom and guess what I did? I purred to her!!! Well, to make a long story short, look at the pics. This is me being held by Mom’s friend Kris, who has been living with us for 8 months before I let her touch me for the first time.

Now she is even aloud to pet me and hold me from time to time. I sat on her lap recently so she could rub my face…Mom never thought it was possible. Now she is daring to dream that Pixie and I will become cuddle buddies one day!

Do you agree that Pixie has magic in her?

The talent to enjoy small things

Mom says I have many talents. I am not sure they all truly exist though as she has a wild imagination. She also loves me too much and sees more than I am sometimes. Well, it happens that pretty often after a while what she sees in me becomes real. Mom’s magic, I suppose.

She says that it is my talent to enjoy small things that inspires her the most. I came into her life when she almost forgot how it is to be happy with no big reasons for that and how to smile and go crazy over something barely visible.

When I was a kitten, I could have a fit of joy over a speck of dust or a tiny piece of paper. I still have them from time to time, but not every day as before. I might got spoiled a bit, I admit, but the way I enjoy life, the way I grasp every bit of it, how I ravish it hasn’t changed.

Mom says that when almost everyone around her told her she did her best but it is time to stop fighting for me, that it is time to let me go and that nature knows its way and other similar things that were supposed to make her feel better about not being able to save me, it was me who taught her not to give up. When she thought for a moment it is out of her power to help me and there is nothing else she is able to do, she looked at me and saw how much I loved living, how happy I was, how I was not feeling down even being very sick, she understood she could never give up on me.

Mom learned many things because of me: how to pray, how to ask strangers for help, how to be a vet nurse and how to not sleep for months. She even went out of her law-abiding ways and became a smuggler, a cat smuggler. She took me to Thailand and back to Cambodia several times while I was too small and too sick to have a vet passport. She had to find other, less traditional ways to get me across the border so I could get proper medical help and survive.

I reckon, this talent saved my life by reminding Mom that she is the most stubborn person in the World and can get through a concrete wall if she is motivated enough.

Airports and airplanes

I’ve been to several airports in my life and I have explored them all. In Suvarnabhumi airport in Bangkok every staff member and passenger of our plane was eager to get to know me, but I was overwhelmed with the amount of people, and after a short walk I decided that my cage was not for keeping me in, but for keeping me safe and I hid inside.

Every time Mom would take me out to pass the scanner or another checkpoint, I’d hold on to her shoulder so hard that would leave marks on it even though my claws were cut before we hit the road.
The staff there checked my papers carefully. Two times for some reason. This is a huge airport with me being not the first cat to fly out for sure, the airport staff was a bit confused and not sure about the papers and rules. But still after rechecking everything the man informed every checking point that there is a cat traveling so they were waiting for us and were very helpful.

It was the longest flight in my life yet: Bangkok- Moscow – Chisinau. I am fine in the plane, but very eager to leave the cage once we are outside, so transit time is the hardest period of every trip.
It is strange that in Russia no one really cares about animals traveling and their documents. You have to spend lot of time and nerves to get them, but no one asks them in the airport. For the first time we arrived to Russia Mom would ask everyone who she needs to show them to. Everyone was surprised and the animal service officer was not pleased that we woke him up when we finally found their office. I didn’t like Domodedovo (airport of Moscow) at all. It is very big and we had to run far every time to show the documents to the vet service that was not happy we are law abiding passengers…

In the nameless airport of Chisinau we were met by the officer at arrival and had to pay a special fee for my entrance to the country and one more strange fee for me to leave it. You have to pay every step of the way there. Even documents for departure are made in three different places with three more times to pay than in the other counties I have been to.

In the Tolmochevo, airport of Novosibirsk Mom would ask again and again who to show my documents to upon arrival. But the place where the animals should be checked was empty and no one seemed to care. One lady officer was standing at the exit and watching Mom running around. Finally, she asked Mom: Is your cat well? Mom said: – Yes, we have all the documents needed and a couple additional to prove that, – she prepared to open a folder with my docs and to show her my passport with all the shots noted, microchip certificate and traveling health certificates. But the tired woman shook her head:
– Go then. It’s fine.
But Mom just kept staying there. She is always so worried that I might have problems with documents and may be taken away from her and put in quarantine or something, so she checks everything 10 times before she could breathe normally.
– Don’t you need to put some stamp on the documents? Will there be any problems for us later, when we travel again if you won’t? – she narrowed her eyes.
-It’s gonna be fine. Just go already. – the woman smiled.
M9m shook her head thinking that there are no guarantees in Russia that you will meet no problems even if you do everything right. One official says one thing, the other says different and it is always your fault…
Still she took me and walked away. We also were pretty tired. This is the only airport where I had no walk so far. It is small and usually crowded, no safe corners like in Moscow, where I made some friends checking out every small shop with snacks and newspapers.

The road so far

As I am having a break from traveling now, I guess it’s time to revise the road I’ve walked so far and to draw my personal travel map.

I was born in Siam Reap, Cambodia and spent my first year in the South-East Asia. My first trip was to the capital of Cambodia – Phnom Penh to see the doctor when I was 1 month old. Then I had to repeat this trip when I was two months.

The next trip I took was my first tour to Thailand. I had to go there illegally, because I was too small and too sick to have had a vet passport at that time. I’ve been to and back several times due to my health issues.

There was a very hard day when I finally got a vet passport in Thailand and was crossing the border officially for the first time. But I have told you about this already in the second part of the “The land of sun, the land of rain, the land of the red dust”.

The next step was leaving Asia for good. We had to stay for almost two weeks in Pattaya again to make more documents for me. And then there was my first airport where we were surviving a four hours flight delay and my first flight. Almost 8 hours from Bangkok to Novosibirsk.

Mom says that I’ve tolerated this event better than her. Siberia met us with cold spring weather. Then when the summer came, we moved to Moldova where we spent several months till coming back here to generous lands of Novosibirsk.

All for now, but not for long.

The land of smiles and good vet doctors_part 2

To tell you the truth I liked Thailand. Well, I saw little of it due to my sickness and lack of vaccination. Mom was afraid to take me out for my everyday walks, because feline leukemia and HIV are widely spread there. But I made her anyway. In the place where we lived in the north of Pattaya, there were lots of sparrows. So small and right behind my window. They liked to sit on the window bar outside driving me crazy.

Usually, no matter where we are, I wake up together with the sun. The sun comes up and I go to wake my Mom, weather she likes it or not. But here, in Thailand, birds are starting singing even before the sunrise. So I couldn’t sleep since early morning, trying to break away from the room and go hunting. I would wake my Mom and demand to go out, but she would repeat day after day that she won’t go with me for a walk, while there’s still night outside. The dogs usually were running around till the very morning and it was dangerous.

Also there was no place to walk. The house was surrounded by road and there were cars driving around regularly, and huge tourist buses used to park almost every night right outside of out cozy place. So Mom had to be very careful taking me outside. She was looking for dogs, cars, people and me not to eat any trash from the ground as I like to do (I can’t stop myself, even if I try hard! Everything outside looks so interesting and alive, so I attack tiny stones and dirt pieces and take it rapidly in my mouth as if it is a gecko trying run away).

I was constantly trying to open not only our door, but the windows as well, and one time I managed to do it! Mom opened it to get some fresh air and closed it not tight enough after that, leaving a couple of millimeters for me to stick my claw in and open it wider. I was fast. I jumped up and was going to jump down from the second floor to where the birds were chirping. But Mom was also fast. She jumped from the bed, where she laid reading and caught my back legs. She moved like an American football player.  I guess I am a football superstar not without a reason.

Mom would gladly keep me inside all the time. But, you know, I can be very convincing when I need something. And I NEED my daily walks! I NEED hunting and checking out my territory (which grows wider and wider with every walk, by the way) Two times a day minimum. Even it is Siberian winter outside. But this is another story. And I will tell it another day.

The land of smiles and good vet doctors_part 1

When I discovered Thailand for the first time I was dying. Again. I can clearly understand that you are tired of reading about me trying to die. Imagine how tired of it I was.

The winter in Cambodia was coming to an end when I managed to catch a cold. Mom heard that I was wheezing at night and took me to Phnom Penh again. That time another doctor met as. She was very young. Mom told her that I seem to have bronchitis. The doctor listened to me, heard nothing and said I was fine. Mom made her make an X-ray and then she saw my bronchitis! To cut the long story short, the treatment this doctor proscribed me didn’t work. I started vomiting from the antibiotics, she insisted on continuing it, Mom changed it the next day, but anyway, the dose the doctor said to give me was too small and the disease was progressing. When Mom was calling her for advice, she said, that if I am eating and playing – everything’s fine. But when I became worse, the young doctor said that anyway, she has nothing else to offer, I am getting all the necessary treatment anyway.

Mom found one more vet doctor in Siberia by her relative’s recommendation and wrote to her, explaining the situation. And Natalia responded. She is my fairy godmother, I believe. She was online for us day and night, telling Mom what to check and what human medicine can help me. But it was difficult to tell how bad my situation was without blood analyses and another x-ray. Then Mom noticed that my breathing pattern changed, Natalia said it may be a pulmonary edema. So Mom gathered her wits, bought hormone shots to help me breathe and took me to Thailand, Pattaya, where she knew a nice doctor.

I was too small at that time – not even 3 months yet and I had no vet passport, of course. So she had to ask some Cambodian friends to hide me in the bag and carry me across the border. We are very thankful to you, guys! And I said “thank you” to Russian tourists that were our companions in our multiple trips afterwards already, but I have a special thank you to that first group.

I am a very lucky kid. And I got lucky that time as well. The breathing problems grew stronger on the way and I needed to get a shot. But Mom was so nervous with the whole situation, that her hands were shaking and she was afraid she could not do it. She asked the driver to stop for a minute and ask if there was someone who could help us. One lady happened to have an experience in giving her cat regular shots, so she helped us. Thank you and I hope your cat is fine and will never get sick again!

Finally, when we came to Pattaya and doctors made an X-Ray, they confirmed that my fairy-doctor was right and said I had a 50% chance to survive. But when they saw the drug scheme I was treated accordingly, they gave me several chances extra and I used them properly.

The time of analyses, doctors and never-ending treatments came. Mom became a nurse-robot. Our Thai doctor consulted her during daytime and Natalia during the night.

And by the combined effort of those people I survived. As my fairy godmother said, they’ve pulled me from the other side by the end of my tail. I guess, that is one more reason to love my crocked little tail so much. Be it straight, so many people could not hold on it simultaneously.