Choices

Everyone knows what a difficult choice is. It is a choice which you don’t want to see; a choice you think you can’t handle; a choice you don’t want to make.
If you finally take a deep breath and a step forward, you might find yourself in different situations:

– relief;

– regret;

– being unsure;

– trying to persuade yourself you took the right path on the crossroads you just left.

But no matter how you feel, making this choice changes you. Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing? For you to decide. Are you ready to choose?

Happiness in small things

I know I am a complicated personality, I can be a cute little bunny, a funny guy, a playful mischief or mr.Grumpy, an angry panther and a furious baby dragon in one day, but overall I am a happy catman.

I am finding happiness in small things like: Mom coming back from home, going out and bathing in the dust or sitting in the sun, playing with my little sis, having my chicken, hunting paperballs, or fetching mr. Pinkey. There are so many bad things around, but if you concentrate on them, you won’t see the good things you have every day.

So I close one eye from time to time to see the world brighter and better. And what do you see?

Confusion

Have you ever been so confused in your life, that you did not know what you feel? You are close to someone and yet far, you look at each other and hit, instead of kissing, because you are afraid to admit what is going on; you look at her and have no idea why this creature is so important to you, but you feel it in your guts, and ready to forgive all those bites, sudden jumps and hogging all the attention some times. I still won’t let her steal my treats or deprive me of my naps, but I like when she misses me, you know. Whenever I leave home, even for 5 mins, I come back to a yelling little monster who starts purring to Mom and jumping at me simultaneously. She can’t be alone at all. You know what warms my heart most of all, she is purring to Mom, but she switches to me instantly and chooses to go play with me, not stay and have some girl time with Mom.

I never could imagine I’d love someone except for Mom. But now, I’m afraid, I do. Having Kleo back with us made me realize how much I love this little ball of fur with a fire under her tail. Mom thinks Pixie chose her over Kleo and started following her around when she was not even a months old yet, but we all know who she chose to be with, right?

Still, I am confused about it, can’t grasp the moment when I turned from hating all the other cats to loving one.

No outrunning our fate

No outrunning our fate,

No shielding life with bare hands,

No making eras change their gait,

No seeing where a childhood spans.

 

Protect the kingdom of your dreams

And make the time to slow its pace.

Set free forever your heart’s screams,

Come first among your foes in race.

 

Restore the meaning of your life.

Provide your army with a faith.

Ignite the eyes of Love with strife.

Imagine that you live in grace.

 

Rewrite the code of happiness.

Reshape the fabric of the worlds.

Reduce the feelings’ timidness.

Release anew the book of odds.

 

Without stirring tears’ load,

Nor picking up old dust from soul,

Remain yourself and face your bode,

Stop playing hide and seek in whole.

Inner silence.

How often do you speak with your inner voice? Once in a while? Every day? All the time? Mine just won’t shut up! There is no privacy in my head. It asks me cunning questions, it shows me what I don’t want to see about myself, it soothes me when I upset or makes me even more upset, and it laughs like a crazy evil professor trying to enslave the world. You would say it is just mine subconscious so I am simply talking to myself. Well, one might agree, but if you try and peep inside my head, you would never again ponder over the question if subconscious is a part of one self: it isn’t, I promise.

I was very irritated with my inner voice lately. It was annoying more than usual, so a couple of days ago I wished it to go away for the 3588th time. I don’t know what was different that time, but the voice actually left me alone. No, ALONE. For the whole day there was not a though, not a word, not a move inside my head. It was scary and fascinating at the same time. I felt like I was outside, pushed out on to my skin: sounds were louder, colors brighter, people’s faces clearer. The world looked as if someone took a plastic from the monitor or photo shopped the picture.

My inner castle was gone, there were no inner space at all. What did you say? I am crazy? Totally, man, totally! Did you expect anything else from a baby dragon?

Thankfully, after sleeping off and watching funny series with Mom for the whole weekend, I am getting back to normal. Anything unusual in your life?

Silver Mouse – the curse breaker.

 

I am not sure if I am bragging too early, but it seems like Pixie is a little fairy after all. Those who know me for a while, remember that I was not be touched by anyone. Last Summer I risked my life running away from Mom on the street when I thought it was not her who touched me. I ripped my harness off, tore Mom’s hands severely and ran home crossing two roads…
When someone would approach me with a kid, I would start shaking or roaring. If someone other than Mom would touch me, I could have hit with my paw or bite through the hand…
Now, having a stable life, Mom’s friend Kris living with us for almost a year now and Kleo with babies for over 4 months changed me, made me calmer and more confident. But having Pixie the Smiling kitten (Pixie Pie, Pixie the Sweet Paw, Pixie Crazy Pants, Pixie the Silver Mouse and so on and so forth) changed me so much Mom can barely recognize me.
I am old Mr. Grumpy, of course, and I am still a crazy Dragon baby, but I am much sweeter to Mom, my health is more stable and the most surprising thing is, I LOVE people now. Yes, yes, you heard me right. Every man/woman/kid I see outside of my apartment is my friend. I ran to a human to greet him and I smell him and bump him with my head and rub on his legs. Nothing will make me happier if a neighbor lets me in to his home to explore…Happy days like this I cherish. Last week Mom was shocked when a lady that came to see someone in our block lifted me up thinking I am running away from Mom and guess what I did? I purred to her!!! Well, to make a long story short, look at the pics. This is me being held by Mom’s friend Kris, who has been living with us for 8 months before I let her touch me for the first time.

Now she is even aloud to pet me and hold me from time to time. I sat on her lap recently so she could rub my face…Mom never thought it was possible. Now she is daring to dream that Pixie and I will become cuddle buddies one day!

Do you agree that Pixie has magic in her?

Love is all around

Love love love! Love is everywhere even if we do not feel it or see it sometimes…
I found out that giving love is the best way to feel it yourself. I found out that in the moments of doubt, someone is always there for you. Maybe not the ones you expected to be, maybe those who you least expect to be, maybe someone you barely know, but we are never truly alone if we don’t want to be alone.
Love is the main force of the Universe: not laziness, not greed, not money or pleasure, love. It moved mountains countless time!
So share your love today with someone: with your family, friends, a pet or a neighbor. Love is the only thing that grows while being shared with others.

May the Love be with you, my friends!
And Happy Valentine’s day to you!

Cuteness is a dangerous weapon

 

Pixie is a terrorist! What? You don’t believe me? You say she is too cute for that? You know, her cuteness helps her get away with many things, but it does not prevent her from being a real menace to your life. Well, not your life, probably, but mine for sure.
See how she changed my daily routine already:
– we wake up when Pixie wakes up;
– she gets her pre-breakfast dairy snack first before we get our breakfast;
– she demands to go out with us, destroying our private play time that we had with Mom;
– she won’t let me nap as much as I want during the day. She just jumps inside my warm house and bite me everywhere forcing me to go out and then she jumps at me and bite my neck and ears making me start our chasing game;
– she catches everything Mom throws right away and won’t let me prepare for the attack, thus ruining all my fetching games with Mom;
– she won’t let Mom go to sleep in the evening by jumping at me so I would chase her around. We have our crazy chase games at midnight every day now. We run around Mom’s bed, jumping at her all the time. Mom has to hide under the pillow to try to sleep!
– by disrupting my daytime naps and by not letting me go to sleep with Mom in the evening, she makes me grumpy and irritable and I demand more walks and attention from Mom now.
So, now you see that Pixie is a cute terrorist, driving Mom and me mad? What do you say? We should be more strict with her? Oh, Mom tried sometimes, when she goes too crazy or too late, but it doesn’t really help. And have you seen her happy smiling face? We forgive and forget everything the moment this little daemon turns into a cute kitten again.
Cuteness is a dangerous weapon!

Family circle

Our small family of three makes a circle. We follow one another all the time. Since I was a kitten, I needed to be everywhere where Mom was and Pixie is the same for some reason. Even when while Kleo and other kittens were here, Pixie chose to follow Mom and stay in our room most of the time. Even being squeezed by the door (Mom didn’t see her, Pixie was too fast and Mom didn’t have enough sleep for weeks then) didn’t stop her. And now she follows me or Mom around everywhere.

Our morning starts with Mom going to the bathroom and both of us following her there. Pixie needs to sit in Mom’s arms or play around and I need to show Mom how much I love her and wait for my morning massage. Then Mom goes to the kitchen and we are there too: Pixie is asking for some diary before the breakfast and I am reminding Mom it is time to take me out. I won’t eat my chicken if I had no walk first.
Then, when we go for our naps after a playtime (in which Mom HAS to take part, of course), we always stay close to Mom. I need to open my eyes and see her, that’s why I like my warm house on her desk so much. And Pixie is trying to nap on Mom’s lap, on her laptop, on the desk in front of the laptop, near my house, in her house close to mine and on her upper bunk of our new bunk bed (which I do not use. It’s a girlish thing!).
Every time Mom goes away, we try to stop her, Pixie is even getting into her bag to show she is ready to go out with her, though she is afraid even being out the apartment for now. When Mom takes me out and we both leave Pixie, she starts yelling like crazy and tries to open the door to be with us. So Mom is forces to carry Pix around with us when I am having my in-building walks.
And no matter where we fall asleep in the evening, we would come to sleep with Mom during the night. We are the guardians of her dreams: I sleep in her feet and Pixie is near the pillow. We keep Mom safe, when she is resting after keeping us safe and happy all day.

The under-the-table monster

 

Do you believe in monsters? No? So do I. I don’t believe in them, I know they exist. Because we have one in our apartment. It is not the usual under-the-bed monster, it is an under-the-table one.
Once a week it emerges out of his hiding place and Mom has to wrestle him! He roars and he breathes out fumes of hot air, and he’s got a longest nose I ever seen like those elephants Mom told me about. Mom wins every time and it goes silent and pretends dead till the next week. (I know, I am checking him every time).
I am not afraid of him, of course, but I understand that monsters are dangerous, so I watch the fight and wait if Mom needs my help. But she is strong so I can trust her here.
Pixie is not sure yet how to react when she sees our monster, but she looks at me and tries to stay calm though I see that she is scared. She is brave and smart, I guess, she’ll learn to trust Mom too.

Do you have any monsters at your home?